They didn't thank me, but I don't mind.
It wasn't as if I invented a whole new look. I merely accessorised a fashion classic, purely by chance. Women, in their wisdom, saw the possibilities, and made it what it is today. One of the most biggest selling fashion items in the world.
I'm talking about the BCJ. (To any fashion Don'ts that might be reading this. The BCJ is the bottom cleavage jean. I pioneered the look, although I must admit the thong was not my work)
It all dates back to an incident in Kensington in the 80s. I was putting up some scaffold and suddenly realised I needed the toilet.
It was right over the other side of the hall. And there were arty farty types all over the place. I felt a bit intimidated. I'm a big bloke, and have boxed at heavyweight, but ladies frighten me. As they do a lot of men. These terrifying arty ladies had all the channels covered.
But there was one clear gangway. So I stepped up and took that and, since my bladder was bursting out my trousers, loosened my belt.
Some camera flashes popped, so I covered my eyes, releasing my jeans to reveal acres of bottom cleavage.
There were gasps, followed by a period of stunned silence. I decided to brazen it out and sashayed down the aisle.
It clearly worked, because as I left the stage, there was a spontaneous outbreak of thunderous applause.
When I came out the toilet, this lady was all over me like rash. I told her "you have to give these things time to filter down to the high street" but she wouldn't listen.
Still, working for her got me out of the building sites.
Footnote: Daisy McAndrew would never wear BCJs. Not that there's anything wrong with them. But she has way too much style.
No, I haven't got a crush on her. Oh, shut up you!
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